MODERN SEX

PERSONAL

PLEASURE

Finally home alone? Your roommate's gone for the weekend?  Feeling bored or a bit curious?

Exploring your own body and discovering what pleasure feels like for you can be a great way to boost your mood, relax your body and mind, and help you improve your sex life.

Plus, when it comes to masturbation, you don’t have to worry about passing or getting HIV or STIs but still get that release of feel-good hormones! 💦

Breaking the Ice on Masturbation

Breaking the Ice on Masturbation

Depending on the circles you run in, masturbation may not be openly talked about. Maybe you’ve been told that it’s wrong or shameful, or you feel guilty about doing it for some reason or the other? Whatever the case may be, remind yourself that (1) your body is yours, (2) masturbation is completely natural and normal, and (3) you are deserving of pleasure!

And hey, masturbation can help you learn more about what you like, including where and how you like to be touched. When you know what turns you on, it can be pretty empowering to tell your partner(s) what makes you feel good. You might even want to masturbate with each other, so you can learn how you both like to be touched while getting turned on! Educational moments in the bedroom for the win.  🙌

Feelin' Myself... How?

If you're a newbie to masturbation, we recommend getting familiar with yourself and what’s going on down there. If you can’t see everything, how are you going to make your introduction? Grab a mirror (or two!) and whatever else you need. If you can see yours, have you made a proper acquaintance?

We understand that it might feel awkward, embarrassing or out of your comfort zone to start exploring your intimate areas if you’ve never done it before. But our bodies were made to experience a range of emotions and sensations, so if you’re feeling curious, why not try it out in the safety and comfort by yourself? Try not to judge yourself, relax and have fun!

Accepting and feeling confident in our bodies, especially when it comes to these parts, is a journey of self-love. This journey is not always straight forward, so be patient with yourself, especially when you first begin masturbating.

Masturbation, like anything else, can require some practice and a little experimentation! You may not reach your orgasm right away, and that’s okay. You may need lubrication, toys, hand stretches, the ability to feel relaxed, and ultimately just time to figure out the techniques that work the best for you.

Getting in the mood is key! Maybe it happens naturally for you... or you have a powerful imagination that runs wild... or the sight of your secret crush simply gets you feeling it?! Lots of people watch porn, read stories, or listen to erotica to get turned on. Some folks find it a little easier to become aroused after they’ve had a glass of wine or some cannabis. Whatever your cup of tea, you just need to relax and enjoy the ride.

Real Talk on Porn

Watching porn can be a great way for some to get in the mood—it can be exciting to see others get off and what they’re doing to get there, but we want to remind you that porn is a performance. Just like TV and movies, the people we see on our screen are actors, and in most cases, there is someone behind the camera directing and telling them what to do for an audience in mind. Often, discussions about sexual health, like testing and STIs, happen behind the scenes, even though they don’t make it to the screen. Negotiation and consent between performers also often get edited out of scenes.

It’s totally normal to be turned on by what we see in porn, but it also doesn’t mean that you have to do the same things or that you like to be touched or talked to in the same way. That’s why exploring for yourself what you like is important—and masturbation is a great way for you to discover that in a safer space!

Some people also like to watch porn together to get each other in the mood, and that’s totally cool! Porn may offer some exciting inspiration on what to do together, just make sure to check in that everyone is feeling into and comfortable with what’s going down. The best sex happens when everyone’s enjoying themselves!

Not all bodies, including intimate body parts, are represented in porn. If you don’t see your body or identity represented in porn, remember that porn is an industry just like other entertainment industries and it is slow to catch up to diverse representation of different kinds of people. Sometimes, when you do see queer, trans, racialized folks, or people with disabilities in porn, they may be portrayed with stereotypes, which can be upsetting or triggering. Many times, what is shown are unrealistic standards of beauty or fantasies for specific audiences in mind—that's why it’s important to go on a personal journey of exploring what you like. You may find that porn may not be for you and that’s okay.

Simple Pleasures 

If the global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to appreciate what we already have, so there’s no better time to explore your own body and personal pleasure and get creative with yourself (and toys!) in the age of social distancing. Dim the lights, turn on some steamy music, and get going at it! Have fun!  😉

Swinging Sex Drives & Dysfunction

We all go through swings in our sex drives, and there may be periods when we’re feeling super horny, then other times, not so much at all—and this is totally normal. Oftentimes, our mental health can impact our desire to have sex (including sex with ourselves), so if we’re feeling low, masturbating may not be at the top of our list. If you’re going through a dark period, personal pleasure can be a source of enjoyment in our lives. Talking about these things with non-judgmental friends or seeking support from a professional are a good idea if you’re going through a tough time.

The media (like TV, movies, AND porn) can make achieving orgasms seem effortless, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, achieving an orgasm has as much to do with your emotional and psychological state as it does with the physical stimulation. Whatever you're feeling, remind yourself that personal pleasure like all sex, is supposed to be fun! Achieving orgasm doesn’t have to be the whole point of sex. Masturbation is about enjoying the full experience. Think of the big O as a nice addition, like the cherry on top. 🍒

You deserve to enjoy your own body! After all, it’s yours to have in this lifetime – might as well make the best of it and have some fun!

Swinging Sex Drives & Dysfunction

We all go through swings in our sex drives, and there may be periods when we’re feeling super horny, then other times, not so much at all—and this is totally normal. Oftentimes, our mental health can impact our desire to have sex (including sex with ourselves), so if we’re feeling low, masturbating may not be at the top of our list. If you’re going through a dark period, personal pleasure can be a source of enjoyment in our lives. Talking about these things with non-judgmental friends or seeking support from a professional are a good idea if you’re going through a tough time.

The media (like TV, movies, AND porn) can make achieving orgasms seem effortless, but this is not always the case. Sometimes, achieving an orgasm has as much to do with your mood and psychological state as it does with the physical stimulation. Whatever you're feeling, remind yourself that personal pleasure like all sex, is supposed to be fun! Achieving orgasm doesn’t have to be the whole point of sex. Masturbation is about enjoying the full experience. Think of the big O as a nice addition, like the cherry on top. 🍒

You deserve to enjoy your own body! After all, it’s yours to have in this lifetime – might as well make the best of it and have some fun!

Simple Pleasures 

If the global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to appreciate what we already have, so there’s no better time to explore your own body and personal pleasure and get creative with yourself (and toys!) in the age of social distancing. Dim the lights, turn on some steamy music, and get going at it! Have fun!  😉
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